Brett James, Who Wrote "Jesus, Take The Wheel"
Stop with the airplane yokes already
Brett James, the country music artist who wrote the smash hits “Jesus, Take The Wheel” and “When the Sun Goes Down,” experienced his final smash hit this week when he went down in a field in North Carolina.
According to authorities, the song writer rose like a bullet from Nashville’s John C. Tune Airport at 12:41 PM only to crash two hours later in the key of Ee-yow!-flat Major.
President Trump’s newly refurbished non-DEI National Transportation Safety Board told news outlets they’re actively investigating whether Dionysus the god of wine may have taken control of the plane instead of Jesus.
Acting on this new evidence, FBI Director Kash Patel issued an immediate all points bulletin for this man:
In 2005, James’ co-written “Jesus, Take The Wheel” became a huge hit that launched Carrie Underwood’s career. But wait, it gets even worse.
The song described a woman surrendering control to Jesus in a moment of crisis and then nearly getting crushed like a canned ham as a result.
The country song inspired less successful spinoffs like:
“Jesus, Take The Slauson Cutoff, Then Get Out Of The Car And Cut Off Your Slauson”
“Jesus, Take Your Foot Off The Pedal. You’re Riding The Clutch!”
“Jesus, Take Your Hand Off My Leg, I’m Married!”
“Jesus, Take That Bag of Empty Schweppes Ginger Ale Bottles: You’re The Redeemer”
“Jesus, Should I Buy This Small-Engine Airplane?”
“Jesus, Who Cut The Cheese?”
“Jesus, Do I Look Fat?”
“Jesus, Jesus- - Watch The Road!”
“Jesus, Stop This Song”
Fans are consoling themselves with the thought that James is now up in Heaven jamming with Ricky Nelson, whose fans consoled themselves with the thought that Nelson was up in Heaven jamming with Lynyrd Skynyrd, whose fans consoled themselves with the thought that they were up in Heaven jamming with Reba McEntitre’s band- aw forget it.
A funeral date hasn’t been decided yet. I guess that’s still up in the air.
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